Wednesday, December 4, 2013
IWSG- Year end post
For info and sign up go here. For more info on the contest go here. Hopefully, you'll come back. =)
I've been with this wonderful group for about two years...I think. I highly recommend them. There's nothing like having awesome writers at your back when you need them. And let's face it, we are a species unto our own.
I have many insecurities. I admit it. I wish I could be like my sister. She can carry a conversation about anything, ask personal questions as if she knew you forever. I wish I could be like my husband. Everyone talks to him, he's smooth with conversation, seamless, as if he knows everyone personally. But alas...
I was in the yard one day and my neighbor two houses down waved. I startled as if she were waving a bloodied machete, or a magic wand ready to zap me, or chop me up. I looked around wondering who she was waving to and found myself alone. She wasn't waving any horrible object, or pointing, or scowling. She smiled. I smiled and waved back. True story. No lie.
Yup. That sums up who I am in a nutshell.
Which is why I started this blog as Chandara. I wanted to peel out of myself and be someone else. I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin, or fake it.
My insecurities this year has been astronomical. I realized that my dream of publishing wasn't what I expected. The magic carpet didn't roll out and sweep me to Neverland where I don't ever have to grow up. Well, technically, I don't have to grow up in my books...but still. I have to grow up for real. Or at least look at life for what it truly is...and it is magical.
Outside of my writer side I have an awesome family. My son turns seventeen tomorrow. Wow...where have the years gone. I have a roof over my head, clean clothes, food. That has always been my baseline. Everything else is extra. And that's totally okay.
I was reading an article the other day of a doctor in Chicago who has been visiting the homeless under Wacker Drive for 12 years. Unnoticed by the public, he buys them food and coffee twice a week. He was found out by a witness and made into an angel. But I'm pretty sure he was okay being the shadow helping these folks out. That was totally okay with him.
My point: if writing is what makes you happy you shouldn't need the glory that comes with it, the fame, the money...authors are laughing at me right now saying what money, what glory...exactly what I mean. Remember your baseline and everything else is extra.
Have a great Holiday Season