Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group

The first Wednesday of the month is the Insecure Writer's Support Group. For more info, scroll down and click on the picture at the sidebar.

So much has been happening, I don't know where to begin. This may get a bit nasty as my mind tries to make sense of it. But here goes...

I was asked to give a creative writing workshop for teens. Yay!  It's something I always wanted to do. See a few months back...go here to read the post. Anyway, of course I'm a bundle of nerves. I've found great resources and support. I just hope it turns out well. I hope I can convey my love for writing as a form of self expression. I hope I don't get creamed by these kids. lol

On top of that, I was offered employment at an organization that provides programs for youth. Again, something I love to do. I've been out of a job since July and volunteer work can only get me so far. Another Yay!

And...I just finished another round of edits for my debut novel, THE SECOND SIGN which be released in February.

So, what's the problem? You ask.

Well...things seem to be falling into place nicely, and I'm still preparing to have the rug pulled out from under me. I've worked so hard to get where I'm at. I did. This is what I've wanted since I was a kid. To make a difference in the life of a child. And to write. To be published. And here I am. So why can't I seem to enjoy the moment? Why does the "I suck" syndrome return with full force when it really has no basis for being there?  The road traveled seemed easier than the actual destination. I think it's because I've been living with the uncertainly of my future (professionally) for so long, I don't know how else to live.   Now, I know the road has not ended. Once I'm published there's going to be a whole new series of uncertainties.

But the moment is good. Really good. And I have to learn to enjoy it. Any suggestions?


15 comments:

  1. I think you have to accept that until you've actually done these things (and lived to tell the tale) you're going to feel apprehensive about them. Day 2 will be a lot more relaxed.

    Good luck.

    mood
    Moody Writing

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are the only one in charge of the perception of your writerly self. But that's easier said than done as I frequently suffer from the I suck syndrome too. What sometimes helps me get out of it is I will read the positive feedback I've received from critique partners like yourself and it makes me feel like I dont suck as bad as I thought I did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Take a few deep breaths, sit down, and revel in the moment. When things turn chaotic we spend so much time dwelling on it. We have to spend the double the time on the good things.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations on those achievements! It is always hard focusing on the moment when your brain keeps wanting to look ahead. I struggle all the time with learning to be content where I am, and I don't know if there is a trick to it beyond considering your blessings.

    Allison (Geek Banter)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think you should enjoy your accomplishments that you truly deserve and when you're about to freak out remember how far you've come. (Chocolate helps too.) Congrats on everything!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I actually have had the same thought... I'm not where you are yet... but I have wondered if I'll be able to enjoy the moment when I'm in the moment, because I'm so used to striving and pushing... I hope I can enjoy it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Learning to be content where I am...a great quote and mindset. I think that's what I need to remember. And I own it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's all mine. =) I have to put this up somewhere as a reminder.

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Actually set aside time to enjoy and celebrate it. The big danger is in jumping to the next thing without doing that, so that life becomes all about the work towards things.

    ReplyDelete
  9. At some point, you just have to sit back and enjoy the ride. Take the problems only when they pop up. Don't be on the edge of your seat expecting them. If you've done your job well, there will be very few problems. So enjoy this time. It never happens for the first time ever again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. its scary. it also means you are at a point of completion and headed for unfamiliar territory. make sure to tell us about it!

    and work on something else, or research in down times to keep from worrying

    wishing you well in this next step

    ReplyDelete
  11. What cool things going on! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmm. Maybe you need to do something else for a while because you have all these things in your head and they need a chance to air out. Congratulations for the success you are having. I recommend a vacation tbh. Maybe someplace warm with margheritas and a spa.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I do understand. I also know you can change. You really can learn to accept good things in life. Like anything it requires practice. Yes, it's that simple. You practice being comfort with good things happening. You learn to expect it. And before long, if something bad does happen, it's no big deal because your life is good. You're fulfilled, complete, and enjoying even the little things.

    I know that sounds a bit cliche, but honestly it is just practice. Expect good things to happen, and strangely they do.

    Nice to meet you, E. Arroyo! Happy IWSG.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks everyone. And of course, all of you are right. Enjoying the moment, day by day. That's all I can do. =) Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Try to bask in it for a while. Meditate, sort of, focusing all you thoughts on the good stuff happening. If a negative thought tries to sneak in, push aside, promising to get to it later.

    As a terminal pessimist, I know all about being negative. But it's important to give yourself time to really enjoy it when things are going well.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by! I had to turn on the word verification due to spammers. Sorry for the inconvenience.