Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Campaigner Challenge

Racheal Harrie first Challenge

 
 
 
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
 
My entry is 195 words

 
 
Shadows crept across the wall.  I lifted my twelve-gauge and blasted the suckers into millions of tiny flecks of ash. The small room provided no escape from the dark figures that haunted us, and the orange light was fading fast.
            “What’ll we do?” Tony asked.
            I wanted to tell him to shut up. He’d been speed talking since we boarded up the place.
            “What if they come back? How can we tell if they’re the real deal?”
            “Real deal?”
            “Yeah, like demons and shit. Did you see what they did to Billy Bob?” He made some pretty gross gestures indicating that Billy Bob had met a most gruesome death.
            “Well, why don’t you stay right there and if they do,” I imitated his gestures: sliced my neck then stuck out my tongue while clawing my eyes. “If they do any of that, I’ll know to blast the sucker.”
            Tony opened his mouth to speak, but then decided against it.
There was a god.
            But then they were in hell, definitely the wrong god.  
The door bulged and warped. Something was trying to get in.
“What’ll we do?” Tony asked.
“Pray.”
The door shattered and everything faded.

 
Thanks for reading.  Go vote! Mine is #127
  

28 comments:

  1. Very intense piece! And great voice :-)

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  2. OOH Very scary!! Great story! I could really picture the whole thing like I was there!! Great job :)

    I'm entry #19

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  3. I agree with Anita -- very intense! I like the bit of banter, too. It adds some humanity to a very gruesome scene!

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  4. Wow! Sounds like a scene from Supernatural! lol Nice work!

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  5. A god but the wrong god....fantastic distinction and draw.

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  6. Oh crap! It was a pretty hopeless predicament.


    Lee (#126 on the Campaign Challenge List)
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  7. This is right up my alley. Awesome dialogue made for great tension buildup. Nice one! :)

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  8. Sorry for the abbreviations, but seriously OMG! You have my vote. Loved the voice and pacing.

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  9. Creepy, suspenseful and well done. You caught my interest quickly.

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  10. Very creepy and well done. Great dialogue and imagery.

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  11. You sucked me right in from the beginning - great action and suspense! Nice work :)

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  12. ooohh. Reminds me of Supernatural. Awesome!!

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  13. "What'll we do?" Tony asked.
    "Pray."

    Just awesome :-)

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  14. intense scene! and you showed aggravation perfectly!
    great job!

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  15. Wow, very intense! Love how started off with the action.

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  16. Ooooh! This is intense! Nice work!! :)

    I'm #37

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  17. It really was intense. Mine is #71

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  18. It's so interesting to see how many different interpretations people have of this prompt!

    And I loved the voice here. It reached out of the computer screen and grabbed me right from the start. Great job!

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  19. Wow, that was action packed! Cliche, but I felt I was right there with them. So much suspense.

    I liked the little flashes of humour too. "But then they were in hell, definitely the wrong god." Great line.

    I'm voting!

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  20. Anything banging on a door that wants to destroy you has my full attention :) (I write zombie books, so you know).

    I loved the dialogue and suspense in this piece. Well done.

    Your entry has been shortlisted as one of the top five to move onto the next round of judging. Best of luck to you.

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  21. Thanks everyone! And thanks Angela!

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  22. congrats to being short listed to one of the top five. Well done.

    I'm 181 thanks for reading. :)

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  23. It does sound like something you would see on Supernatural, good job!

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  24. Thanks for your comments. I have no clue what Supernatural is, but I love the supernatural. LOL.

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