Thursday, December 8, 2011

Can you guess my character's age

Brenda Drake is hosting a Can you Guess My character's age Blogfest. It includes prizes! Check it out here.

It's all about voice. So watcha think? How old would you peg Johnny?


Johnny Castro didn’t consider himself a coward for running from the two men chasing him. He’d been running for most his life so this was no big shocker. Seeing these two fools while canvassing the city for squatting rights, however, was a big shocker. Johnny had hoped to make some extra cash at Union Station before catching sight of thing one and thing two. Pedro, in his early thirties, had the face of a squashed beetle and Salvador, had its body—short and round. He’d known them since he was recruited into the Two-Six. It was either join or become a statistic that included something akin to road-kill, he chose his hide. They should’ve given up on the gang life a long time ago, having survived beyond puberty.


Johnny would’ve stopped to face them, but this breed didn’t play by old-school rules. These fools had guns. There was no honor amongst low-lives. Johnny almost wished he’d lived in the days where even gangs had a code of honor.

He hurdled over the hood of a parked Buick without losing step, his breathing even, his eyes focused on the neighborhood rolling in front of him. He had crossed into a different world trying to set his mind straight. He didn’t know where he was going, motivated only by a sense not to get beaten to a pulp or eat a bullet. The clean trimmed lawns and single family houses was a dead giveaway that Johnny was nowhere near the shelter he currently called home.

22 comments:

  1. There is a some great voice in this opening. I'm guessing early 20's. He seems younger than the thugs chasing him, and they are early 30's.

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  2. Johnny must be younger than the thugs. I'm guessing mid-twenties--25?

    I would either put a hypen in this sentence or separate the two phrases:
    "It was either join or become a statistic that included something akin to road-kill, he chose his hide."

    Also, this sentence is a bit awkward and set up in a passive construction:
    "The clean trimmed lawns and single family houses was a dead giveaway that Johnny was nowhere near the shelter he currently called home."

    But overall, nice job and good luck. :)

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  3. Great voice, indeed. I love the "face of a squashed beetle" imagery. I'm also thinking mid-20s.

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  4. I would guess mid to late 20's. Someone who's old enough to say "I've been running all my life" and also saavy to see these people for the threat that they are.

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  5. I'm guessing early 20s as well. Maybe even 18-19. That's based on the 'surviving puberty' comment. He might not be much past that himself.

    I think living on the streets can make even a teen sound older than his years.

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  6. Really enjoyed this. He's sophisticated so I'd say 24.

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  7. Having worked with street kids, I think the maturity comes from a life on the streets. To me he sounds closer to 15 - world weary but still young.

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  8. I'd say 20-25. It sounds like he's been through a lot!

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  9. I'm going with early 20s. Sounds like he's had experience, but he's not too old.

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  10. I'm guessing early 20's from the voice too. A little experience but still youthful.

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  11. Fun voice! I'm going with about 21 or 22 :)

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  12. I LOVE the thing one and thing two reference haha. As for age...I think I'll say 25.

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  13. I'd say early twenties. I liked the voice, although it felt a little meandering for a chase scene. He is really doing a lot of pondering while he runs. :) Otherwise, he seems like a fun character.

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  14. My guess is in his thirties, from the voice. In the beginning he speaks of how long he's been running, which made me think mid-thirties. He's not super old, but not young either. I noticed the exact same sentences as Heather above.

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  15. He sounds like he's in his twenties BUT I think he's 17 or 18 with just a lot of street experience from being on the run.

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  16. I think somewhere in his late teens.

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  17. My guess is early twenties. I'll come back for the reveal.

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  18. Oh I'm guessing younger than most people. I would say 17??

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  19. Thanks for commenting. It woulda been a great idea to have a contest. I like where everyone is going with this. =) And thanks for the mention of the errors.

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  20. The first line made me think about 12, but later I was thinking more like 17

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  21. Hmm by the time I got to the last paragraph, I was thinking 19...

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  22. I'm guessing 25 because the thugs were early thirties and he sounds a little younger than that. This reminds me a little of THE OUTSIDERS which is awesome! Good start!

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