Monday, September 12, 2011

It is what it is...

This weekend I had a great surprise in my inbox. After closing out all outstanding submissions on a work in progress I was content on shelving, I got a request for a full. This wasn't my first request for a full, but this one felt different. I didn't feel the tingle of excitement mixed with fear. I didn't feel the compelling need to send it off right away. I felt dread. Pure dread.

Instead of announcing it to the world that moment, I cried. I cried.  Thank heavens I was by myself or my family would think me nuts. They'd probably wonder why I'd subject myself to tears. Wasn't this a success? Shouldn't I be happy? Am I totally nuts?

Thank heavens I was able to instant message a fellow writer who happened to be online at the precise moment I needed her and she didn't ignore my call of insanity.  She reminded me that there is no "should" on how to respond. "It is what it is." And she reminded me that I had a choice to say no.

I had to rethink why I started this plight towards publication. I am a writer because I write and I am content with that...and that is totally okay.  I realized that publishing is an extra incentive to do what I do: to share my work with the world and hope to inspire others.  It is why I allow fear to settle over the pit of my stomach when I hit send to a query, why I allow doubt to creep up on me, why I choose to cry.

Needless to say, I will be sending out the full with words of a wise friend to keep me grounded..."it is what it is."

Thanks Brenda!

Why do you do what you do? 

20 comments:

  1. First of all-congratulations on your full request! I imagine it is an emotional roller-coaster, but you received a great advice. I'll keep my fingers crossed!

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  2. Congratulations. That must be difficult to process when you've made the decision to shelve a project, but I hope it works out for you!

    I do what I do because I don't know how to do anything else :-)

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  3. Glad to hear you are sending it out. You never know until you try. I love to see people face their fears and just go for it. Good luck!

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  4. I once got a request for a full six months after I'd queried the agent. At that point, I'd already given up on the novel and had moved on. It was definitely a strange (and, curiously, not excited) feeling to get that request. It felt almost wrong to send it out without revising again, but I did it anyway. My personalized rejection came five months later, so if I ever go back to that novel, I'll have feedback. It was very odd, though, not feeling that spark of enthusiasm for a full request :)

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  5. Congratulations! Good luck. I'm excited for you. I do what I do because I need to write. It keeps me sane. It's a joy I'm sure you all here understand.

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  6. I'm glad you are sending it. You can always THEN choose what to do next. This business is nerve-wracking and I understand your panic. :)

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  7. You guys are awesome! It's nice to know I'm actually sane...at least a little bit. =)

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  8. Congrats on you request for a full, girl! I wish you the best and will keep my fingers crossed for you. The whole publishing thing can get a bit exhausting and scary. :)

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  9. Wow, congrats on the request! I can understand what a tough decision that must have been.

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  10. It's the requests that we aren't expecting that pack the most punch, isn't it? I'm glad you're going for it! I'll give a variation to what your friend said, "What will be, will be." Here's hoping it goes well!

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  11. Congrats! This is great news! :-) That was good advice given to you. Good luck!

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  12. Good luck on the full request. I agree that we should often just let the dread and fear go, but it is soooooo hard!

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  13. Yay for the request! It can be really scary sometimes, but the scary is what makes us better.

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  14. Thanks. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? =)

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  15. Congratulations! And what great advice. I might have to get a bulletin board just so I can post that where I'll see it. :)

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  16. Congrats on that. I like your take that publication is icing on the cake. Wishing you success on this paricular journey.

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  17. Thanks..=) I feel so much better.

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  18. It's great to hear that you got asked for a full. Congrats. Your friend gave you good advice.

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  19. Positivity two times over: a friend when you needed her and a request for a full. Congrats on both and good luck!

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