Elizabeth Mueller is hosting a Change Blogfest.
In the scene below Anne has just awoke with a hangover. She tried to kill the man whose protecting her and was left bound. It's still a work in progress.
The following morning Anne woke up with a splitting headache. Emily sat next to her rubbing her wrists where the rope had dug themselves.
“How do you feel?” Emily asked
“Like I was run over by twenty horses followed by a dozen carriages.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“What time is it?” She said sitting up.
“Wilhelm,” she sighed. “the b@#$#@.”
“I know. I know. I must be careful what I do and what I say.”
“Why do you make things so much harder for people?’
Anne turned her head to look at Emily who looked different, beautiful.
“I have known you for two seasons and I have seen how you are with people, with Wilhelm, with Richard.”
“How am I please do explain. I am dying to hear it.” Anne said and fell back on the bed.
“You push people away. You don’t even try to understand them or their point of view and you demand things you have no right demanding. Do you know how many people have died in this war? Do you know how many people lost their homes and property and livelihood and yet they aren’t as resentful as you. What have you lost Anne?”
She wanted to tell Emily the truth but that was not even a justification for how she had treated Richard. It should be a privilege to hold the fate of the world on your shoulders, a privilege to be protected. She lost no one.
“I’ve lost nothing,” she whispered and closed her eyes.
“Richard told you?”
Anne nodded her head, no words found.
“Do you love him? Would you be with him as a wife?”
“No,” she said unable to look at Emily. It was the truth of it.
“I know he loves you. He will always love you and I am jealous of it. But I also know that I love him and he loves me, enough” she said. “I wish to marry him even if we only have but one evening together. I wish him to know that when he goes to war, and should he fall, that he thinks of me upon his death and know that I love him and will always,” her voice trailed.
Anne felt ashamed, contaminated, dirty.
Emily stood up. “Wilhelm put guards in the entrance so please don’t think of escaping.”
Anne pondered Emily’s words. Me resentful? She chuckled. That was an understatement. She was selfish, spoiled, crude, irresponsible but resentful? She shook her head. “Never,” she said to no one and fell back into the bed laughing. She laughed until tears came out of her eyes. She rolled over and laughed some more holding her belly until it pained her. She laid on the bed curled up in tears until the laughing stopped and she lay in silence. She knew that she would escape. There was nothing for her here anymore. She did not belong in the world of men. She would sail to the lands of the east.