Thursday, July 1, 2010

Share your darling blogfest

Beautiful Chaos is having a share your darlings blogfest today! 

Due to word count I had to delete all of Emily and Richard's travels.  Here is a snippet.


Emily met Richard in the clearing about a mile south. The winds swept over her from over head and Riley stopped and raised its front legs to the air as if averting a confrontation from an unknown rival. Emily held on and dug her heals at his side leaning forward with the reigns and whispering words of comfort to the stallion which seemed to tremble under her. She looked up and felt a presence in the sky as the forest landscape erupted in wind. The stallion regained composure and headed toward the clearing. Emily saw Richard wrapped in a dark cloak. He was shadowed by the trees and she felt a surge of relief to see him. Without looking at her he reached for his own mare and gracefully climbed in the saddle just as she approached.


“We must hurry.” His voice was soft. Emily felt the tension rising from him and she trembled. She heard a loud roar in the sky and strained her eyes to see beyond the towering trees. She could see nothing. A silence consumed them. The horses shimmied in unrest.

“Emily.” Richard said harshly. “Keep your focus on me and nothing else. Keep close and we will be able to ride in the darkness.”

Emily’s heart felt as if it were going to jump through her throat at any second. She turned to look back at the way she had come and saw no sign of her village, of her people. The forest was empty except for the two. Where were the people? Why had they remained in their homes, she thought. Then another thought entered her mind, the forest was empty because there were no villagers alive to flee, they were all dead. Tears blurred her vision and she turned back to Richard who had already begun his decent down the path. She followed with a heavy heart, tears falling from her pale face.

7 comments:

  1. good scene. makes me want to know more. thanks for participating.

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  2. Well done for the blogfest. I can sense the urgency in the scene and appreciate the short length of the entry. The horses were well written aspects to the scene too.

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  3. ooh...spooky! I wonder what happened to all the villagers. This was very fun to read. Great entry.

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  4. This scene has such a feeling of sadness to it. Others noted a sense of urgency, and there's a bit of that too but for me, sadness is the emotion it gave me.

    I love scenes with horses almost as much as scenes with dragons (smile). Curious though, why did you call Riley "it" rather than "he"? And wouldn't digging heels cause the opposite effect to the comforting words?

    This part is particularly powerful: "She heard a loud roar in the sky and strained her eyes to see beyond the towering trees. She could see nothing. A silence consumed them. The horses shimmied in unrest." - the roar and the consuming silence - great contrast.


    I also loved your previous post, about keeping true to yourself. Such a good reminder - ultimately it's just me and the words - good to remember when we start questioning ourselves.

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  5. Thanks Margo. This was cut early on and the "it" should be a he. I didn't get to edits. = -)

    I think it's always a good thing to remember why we write, especially when the going gets tough.

    Thanks again.

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  6. Very exciting, even with the some technical errors. It was deleted, after all. I don't get why Emily and Richards scenes were cut; this is very active, and seemed to pose some plot questions.

    Well, only the author knows what works best with their novel.

    Some excellent writing in this excerpt. The edited and polished must be exciting indeed.

    ......dhole

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