Friday, June 4, 2010

Dream Scene Blogfest!

This is the first time I'm participating in a blogfest.  I'm excited.  Below is a dream sequence from my first completed manuscript. 

Anne’s memories faded in and out, as she searched her unfamiliar surroundings. She stood atop a precipitous mountain. The mountain unfolded in steep corrugated slopes. A narrow winding path cut into the mountain, ending in an extended valley jutted with rock formations and riverbeds. The scent of lilies and flowers of the valley exuded a feeling of being home, nostalgic of returning to a place of beginnings.


A young woman with fine blonde hair that swirled around her smooth ivory face in the calm breeze, walked towards the edge of the precipice. Garbed in a white gown adorned with gold stitching and a gold belt tied smoothly around her waist, the woman carried a bundle wrapped in a white cloth in her arms. Anne did not recognize her, yet felt a sense of familiarity with the woman, as if she had been here the same moment as the events around her unfolded.

The woman was speaking a melodious sound that was lifted away by the breeze that erupted into a more forceful wind from the north. Anne did not understand the woman and felt uneasy at the monotonous look in her eyes, unseeing of all that was around her. Anne tried to move, to follow the woman but she couldn’t. Her legs would not obey her, instead she watched. Reaching the precipice, the woman stopped and lifted the bundle over her head eyeing the sky above her, still chanting. Anne felt panic consume her and yet she could not move. The woman released the bundle over the cliff and it seemed to float, unmoving for a brief second. It was all Anne needed to realize, to see a tiny pink hand protruding from the white cloth-- a baby.

Anne woke up with a scream wedged in her throat as pain exploded throughout her body and she bit down hard to suppress the cry.

13 comments:

  1. Oh! You are such a meanie!! I'd sprout wings and fly and save the baby and kiss him! I am crying right now. I love children with a fierce passion.

    Wonderful, wonderful post!!!

    come and visit me any time! ;)

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  2. LOL. Thanks! Don't worry. It was just a dream.

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  3. Wow! What a twist at the end. But many of my dreams are like that - with a stinger in its tail. Are yours like that, too? Roland

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  4. Very nice transition from the tranquil if slightly confused beginning to the nightmare ending. Great imagery, vivid and visceral. Great entry for the blogfest.

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  5. Hi Roland, Thanks! Personally yes my dreams are pretty much weird. My character's dream are revealing tidbits of past info. (no harm to baby).

    Hi Sarajayne, I'll double check to make sure its a bit clearer. =-) Thanks for your comments!

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  6. Rats, I missed the deadline, but I think I'll post my dream sequence anyway.

    After all, my novel The Stone Dragon is about a dream mage whose magic happens when he dreams!

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  7. Killer twist! I love the detail in this. And thanks for putting the "bad guy" in white, lol. Cuz that never happens... very creative!

    <3 Kelsey Leigh

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  8. Just read your piece, Elizabeth--after posting my late entry to the Amalia's link page.

    I think the dream really takes off in the second paragraph: the "breeze erupted" (powerful verb). Then the loss of choice and the sense of powerlessness is established, leading to the ritualistic "release of the bundle" into the precipice. The final touch is the detail of "a tiny pink hand": less is more.

    Since this is just a fragment, there was the question in my mind whether the exploding pain Anne experienced originated in her womb--if she were pregnant and the dream was some prescient message.

    Thanks for sharing.

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  9. Loved the twist at the end! I wanted to give her a big hug!

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  10. Interesting scene! This has a slow start with the description of the mountain and the setting of the scene-- I wonder if it would be even more powerful if those descriptions were distilled a bit more, and the tempo of the scene were increased slightly! The image of a baby being thrown off a mountain is definitely heart-wrenching and poignant! I don't envy Anne this dream at all!

    Thanks for participating!!

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  11. Oh very well done! Dreams a re a challenge to do right and you nailed it.
    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

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  12. Hey Tom thanks for the look and comment. I agree. I deleted "baby" at the end. I think the reader gets the point.

    Hi Kelsey and/or Kris LOL I didn't even think about the black/white thing. But you make a good point. Thinking outside the box. Thanks!

    Thanks for commenting Hayley

    Hi Amalia T. The scene is significant later. But I sure can work a bit more to make it more intriguing. Thanks for commenting.

    Hi Angela, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you liked it.

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  13. Loved the twist. Great blog!

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